The Lure of Velour...

The first velour shirt I ever owned was from Mervyn's Department Store in San Pablo, California. Soft in a way I had not yet experienced, the shirt called to me like a beautiful, deadly syren. I begged my mother to buy it for me. It was $21.00, a fortune in 1980. Finally, she acquiesced and agreed to buy it as I bounced around the clothing racks. As we approached the register station in "Young Men's" she told me NOT tell my father how much it cost. I swore "to God".

Excited, I was already planning my school picture wearing the shirt. The V-neck reminded me of the comfortable, futuristic uniforms worn by the Robinson family on the Lost in Space reruns I would watch each day at 5 o'clock. People told me I looked like Will Robinson so I HAD to have the shirt. Right? As for the hair, I'd make a trip quick to my older sister Terry's work. She'd recently moved from the Lady Bug Salon to Wild Hair! It would have to be something new and it would HAVE to make a statement.

The v-neck in the fifth grade photo would be SUCH a hit (in my planning and orchestration) that I would of course need to repeat it the next year for my sixth grade photo. I was so excited I was planning TWO years of photos at once. More begging at Mervyn's, ANOTHER trip to Wild Hair, another amazing school picture... IN the meantime though, I had to focus on grade 5. I had a responsibility to a) look good and b) push the fashion boundaries. I was, after all, 10.

Nell Carter's HIT sitcom, "Gimme a Break!" was HUGE (to me). Joey Lawrence was added to the cast as the girls grew older and ratings dropped. Adorable, loved, cutting-edge even, Mr. Lawrence had the best muffin top hair cut in the business, hands-down. Ratings were up and I had to have that haircut. I showed my sister the TV show, "THAT'S what I want!" and she made arrangements to have me come in for a wash and cut.

Excited, I plopped in Terry's chair and expectantly looked at her reflection in the mirror. One of her eyes was droopy. She looked exactly like Stevie Nicks when this happened. "You know what would look great?" she asked in almost slow motion. "Eggplant... or... peach colored... highlights..." (my sister took a lot of Qualudes back then). My smile faded and I began to worry. "I think mom would get mad," I whispered. She accepted this and began the "process".

I loved to go to my sister's work for my haircuts. They seemed professional and luxurious. She ALWAYS used Jhirmack shampoo ("GOD, it smells great!") and worked with VERY cool people including some gay guys who laughed all the time. The whole staff doted on me and I loved it. "He likes sauteed mushrooms!? The kid's got class!" Purrrrrrrr. I felt like a grown-up there. My new haircut would leave them all in approving gasps. The problem? I was coming off a year of layered, feathered, 4th grade hair. A muffin-cut requires a LOT of hair. A lot of thick hair which I do not have. As best she could, my sister cut my hair into the general shape of my desired look. Instead of Joey Lawrence though, I looked more like an inbred serial killer with a bowl cut... There were gasps alright, but they only came from me.

By Halloween, I'd have to make some changes....